Priorities
I’m currently on strike, and there is a risk my brain will go to mush. So here I am writing… it’s more of a reflection piece, and of course written in my personal capacity.
Recently ahandful of discussions have highlighted to me the importance of priorities in our day-to-day and long term thinking. As a ‘busy person’, it is easy to hide away from making decisions that prioritise what I really want to do, and/or what I really want to be known for. I see many colleagues flying along happily, but I also see a number struggling (like myself).
One of the biggest issues with the work model as academic is that ‘my time is my own’, except this paradigm is not true. It’s a false fallacy that we have been propagating for too long, often at the expense of our individual selves. We have a number of tasks that burden our day to day, and within a University setting it’s important to realise that I am not “just paid to think”.
I work at a research intensive university, and there is a typical idea (of any academic) that “I came into academia to do research”. This is a disingenuous view, as I also really enjoy helping other people and pushing things forward together. These things are more than just research, as I enjoy working with people and sharing knowledge.
In a more pragmatic sense, research only pays some of the bills. The University is a massive organisation, and in the funding ecosystem within the UK, a substantive part of our income is derived from the education of a huge number of students. As part of that machine, I have obligations and duties.
Some might like to highlight my academic privilege, in (part) that I used to be a Research Fellow, which in theory gave me more time and space for research. At times it simply gave me a bit more of a push to “say no” — but on reflection I was rubbish at that. I didn’t have all my priorities in order, and in the precarious nature of early-career academic life I was too busy trying to ‘settling down’ within a turbulent system.
As with any external view of a person and their circumstance, caution is advised. The nuance of my day-to-day life is not reflected in my public facing profile, nor would you glean it entirely from my CV.
As an early-career research intensive member of staff, I also ran a masters course and have been leading in a few administration efforts. Many of these items are ‘good for my CV’, or distributed with similar platitudes. Of course, when I am in a bad mood or feeling down, I look at at all the lost time and futile efforts that these may have involved. Yet there are some moments these have provided me access to networks, opportunities and people.
As I step forward, I’m now in that early-to-mid career transition. I have built a substantive research group with lots of people to manage. I also work across a number of ‘bigger projects’ where project (and people) management eats far more time than I’d like. I really miss the ‘art of doing research’ and getting stuck into problems properly, and in chasing the here and now I have lost sight of some of the bigger picture.
As I’ve rushed forward, on reflection, I’ve been lucky to rush through many important doors very quickly. Yet in many circumstances I haven’t quite look for where those doors will lead. This has resulted in a lack of focus on my own priorities. Many of these priorities are professional, but increasingly I am aware of the impact of my professional life on my personal journey.
In being so busy and rushing everywhere, our priorities get lost. Many academics will broadly brag about “how busy they are”, working into the night or dashing from meeting to the next. This blinkers our reality, limiting our ability to think about the bigger picture and creating a sustainable work-life and home-life that we really want to live and enjoy.
How have I started to fix this? I did something drastic, I went away for ~47 days. In some ways I ‘cheated’ in creating the space and time to think about my priorities. However, I used what was available to me and made the most of my personal circumstances. I am aware that such a change in circumstances is not achievable by many, but hopefully I’ll inspire some folks to do something different and to take a step back to consider their priorities and where they are going.
As of the 1st of March, I have just completed my Royal Academy Research Fellowship and as part of this I had time (and funds) allocated for a research trip. Due to a few other bits of prioritisation, I also give all my teaching in the winter term, so with an empty (teaching) diary I went to north america for ~47 days. The majority of this time was spent at UBC, in Vancouver, with the trip ending at TMS (a major conference) and then some leave.
Why did I pick UBC? Well I have a close work friend there (whose family are wonderful too). Vancouver is far away (a work-break!). It’s also near a ski resort (#DidYouKnowISki). I also thought it would be an interesting place to live for a bit. As a feasibility study, I popped through Vancouver on the way to a conference and I had a great trip.
While I’ve been away, there have been a number of people jibing about my ‘holiday’. I am sure that some of these comments are innocent and well meaning. Frankly, it was a holiday — not in that ‘lets go and sit on a beach and chill’ — instead in a ‘lets think about working in a different way and re-establishing priorities in your life’. A holiday from my day-to-day.
If you care, I also did a fair bit of work while I was out there. I don’t want to brag about that, because that would distort the point of this piece.
There was also lots of work that I didn’t do. I didn’t have the day-to-day noise of my London experience. I am aware that I have dropped the ball with a number of issues back in London (and when the strikes end, I hope to deal with them I best I can), but equally a number of issues were solved in my absence, lots of things continued doing their thing, and/or a few colleagues realised where I was adding value to the whole story. The research group I supervise miss me (sorry folks!), and distance supervision worked well in some cases, but not so well in others (you learn).
Drawing this back to priorities — not being ‘at home’, having to spend time thinking about my future and my present, and listening to the stories of people abroad has provided me with significant clarity. We will never have enough time to do everything, and we can’t do everything well.
Many of the things we do as an academic, we just have to do them ‘well enough’ and in many other circumstances, frankly we just don’t have to do them. There are some things we wish to excel in. Working out this balance will be up to each individual, and filled with influence from their personal (and work) circumstances.
As the strikes are clearly bringing into focus, this does not absolve the institutions in which we work. A good institution will create a work environment, across the board, which enables people to have ‘enough time’ to do what they need. We can explore this through management structures and strategies, e.g. work allocation models. Yet, it’s also important that this is reflected in the culture. As an academic in the system, I can help create the culture, and I need to be supported by management in my co-creation.
Academics, especially myself, are insecure and vulnerable (as much as we hide it ~well). Our constant seeking for validation is prone for exploration, either by our optimistic selves or those around us. As I sit here on strike and actively avoiding work, my brain is left to think — how can I fix myself?
I don’t have any golden ticket solutions to this challenge. I suspect I’m at that stage of grief where I want to reach acceptance with where I am. I also hope I can show the resilience and strength to fight to make this lifestyle more achievable and sustainable in the longer term. I’ll remain a work in progress, but I’ll make sure I prioritise this piece of work.
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